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I finally cut ties with someone who was dragging me down
Mountain climbing with a friend is hard
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I was taught to never use the Oxford comma
by Mrs. Henderson, my high school English teacher and a first-rate whore.
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What does a condiment wizard perform?
Saucery
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Not to brag, but I have sychic powers.
For example, right now you’re thinking, “It’s psychic, idiot.”
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My wife asked me if I'm ever gonna stop singing "Wonderwall"
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