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I finally cut ties with someone who was dragging me down
Mountain climbing with a friend is hard
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I changed my iPod name to Titanic.
It’s syncing now.
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While my wife was in labor I read her jokes to distract her from the pain, but she didn’t seem amused...
I guess it was the delivery!
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NURSE: "Blood type?"
DAD: "Red."
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What do you call a piece of wood with nothing to do?
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