The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

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I entered my sons room and said, "Remember, boy, masturbating can make you go blind."

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After being holed up in the house due to Covid, my wife has started having this weird nightmare that our house is made of celery.

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My clock broke.

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So I asked the dude next to me if he knew the chemical symbol for sodium hypobromite, and he was all like,