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I don't mind going to work every day,
it's the sitting around for eight hours waiting to go home I can't stand.
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Of all my body parts, my fingers are the most reliable.
I can always count on them.
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Two hats were hanging on a hat rack.
One said 'You stay here, i'll go on a head'.
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Interviewer: We're looking for someone who is responsible. Do you fit that criteria?
Candidate: Well, in my last job when the store caught fire, my boss said that I was responsible.
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Whenever I see a school bus, I think about my uncles last words...
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