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I dissected an iris today.
It was an eye-opening experience.
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Interviewer: We only hire people who are responsible.
Well, your search ends today. At my previous job, whenever something went wrong, everybody said I was responsible.
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Why do most married men die before their wives?
Because they want to.
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My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine.
I added some fruit and orange juice—now she’s sangria than ever.
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What did the sushi say to the bee?
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