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I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory,
I mean, all I did was take a day off.
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Last night I dreamed I wrote Lord of the Rings.
Guess I was Tolkien in my sleep.
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You don't need a parachute to go skydiving.
You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
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What do lawyers wear to work everyday?
Their lawsuit.
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I dated a twin once...
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