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I can always tell, just by looking, when someone is lying.
I can also tell when they are standing.
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Four out of five people suffer from diarrhea.
Which means one enjoys it.
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My wife: You need to do more chores around the house. Me: Can we change the subject?
Her: Ok. More chores around the house need to be done by you.
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Why can't a father teach his girl about buying bras?
Because a mother knows breast.
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What did the sushi say to the bee?
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