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I can always tell, just by looking, when someone is lying.
I can also tell when they are standing.
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If crows make black babies & doves make white babies, what makes no babies?
...Swallows
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What did one pirate say to the other when he beat him in chess?
Check Matey
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Send me words of encouragement so I don't murder my boss.
There is no Netflix in prison.
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My wife asked me if I'm ever gonna stop singing "Wonderwall"
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