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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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I can always tell, just by looking, when someone is lying.
I can also tell when they are standing.
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I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite.
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Instead of a swear jar, I have a negativity jar every time I have pessimistic thoughts.
It’s currently half empty.
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How do you feed 1000 people with one loaf of bread?
You cut the ends and now you have endless bread.
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Would anyone be interested in being my companion?
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