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I asked my wife to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect! Then she added that I also...
...had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces...
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A century ago, two brothers insisted that it was possible to fly ...
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My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink…
No one listened, but he kept warning them until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the cinema.
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Why is no one friends with Dracula?
Because he's a pain in the neck.
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Why did the bullet end up losing his job?
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