Do you know why you can't hear pterodactyls urinate?
Because they are extinct.
My daughter texted me wondering why I was so happy all day.
I replied that it was my cake day, but she never reddit.
What did the calculator say to the depressed student?
You can count on me young man.
My doctor friend is addicted to hitting his patients on their knees to check their reflexes.
He really gets a kick out of it.