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Do you know why you can't hear pterodactyls urinate?
Because they are extinct.
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I was on the toilet, angry, and late for work.
I thought, “I don’t have time for this shit.”
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How did the hipster drown?
He went ice skating before it was cool.
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Broken bridges really annoy me.
I just can't get over them!
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How did the T-rex feel after his workout?
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