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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Dad: someone here is possessed by an Owl. Son: Who?
Dad: mhmm I guess we found out.
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I went to the bank and asked the teller to check my balance.
She shoved me, but I didn't fall down.
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I was driving when I saw a hitch hiker, so I stopped and picked him up. He said “Woah, I can't believe you actually picked me up. What if I was a serial killer?”
I said “Not likely, I mean what are the odds of two of them being in the same car?”
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My GF left me once I stopped taking her to seafood restaurants
Turns out she was only with me for my mussels
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A captain harpooned a whale's tail on his first throw.
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