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Child: Dad, why do you write so slow?
Dad: I'm a slow reader.
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What do you call a noodle that doesn’t drink?
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Kid: I need to go, I have a bus to catch.
Dad: How are you going to do that? They're massive.
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What's the best thing about dating a homeless woman?
You can drop her off anywhere.
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What do you call a nose with no body?
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