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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Been torturing a centipede for the last 98 days…
on its last legs now.
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myspacebarhasarestrainingorderagainstme
nowicanonlygotofacebookbar
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A person asked me, "Aren't you the guy who brags about weird stuff?"
I replied, "No, Im the guy who takes the longest baths in the city".
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You can go from fat to fit
with one good vowel movement.
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Husband: Whisper dirty things to me.
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