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Been torturing a centipede for the last 98 days…
on its last legs now.
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Interviewer: We're looking for someone who is responsible. Do you fit that criteria?
Candidate: Well, in my last job when the store caught fire, my boss said that I was responsible.
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Where do single cats advertise for a date?
The purr-sonal ads.
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I have a confession to make, I was addicted to soap.
But I’m clean now.
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I'm taking part in a stair climbing competition.
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