A Mexican magician said that he could disappear on the count of three. He started "unos, dos.."
But then he disappeared without a tres...
On the anniversary of his birth, devotees of a certain yogi asked what gifts they might bring.
The yogi replied, 'I wish for no gifts, only presence."
I asked my boss, “Can I have a week off around Christmas?” He growled, “It’s May!”
I countered, “Sorry. May I have a week off around Christmas!?”
I saw my nephew after a long time, and said “Wow! You must have grown a foot since I saw you last!”
He said, “No. I still have two.”